rahhhh

Two days in a row, i overslept on the bus on my way home. Ended up walking 2 to 3 bus stops home. And it doesn't help when it is like already 11.30 pm, and you're carrying a laptop, a A3 file and a heavy bag.

And i just didn't have the drive and energy for squash training today. Usually, i would be rather happy to go. But i was just so lethargic today.

This shows how much sleep i lack lately. The petrol of my engine is running low.

Just 3 more weeks of chiong-ing of assignments. ):

Every bit and piece in my life right now is like bottom low. Right down to the bottom of the core.

Sucks.

Not here when i need it ):

with beauty, comes loss.

The persistance of memory.

It's just so tiring.

Perhaps, i should just forget it all and let it go.

Yeah, i should.

Right?

I want a definite answer.

Ding DANG HEAD

I have a sudden craze over 90s again. So pardon me for all the old songs.

I want to go back to the 90s!

Our annual New Year family Photo (:

Had so many NG shots that i had to keep running back and forth to keep retaking. Hence my flared hair. Grr. Haha.

Had my GEMS class today. And i just realised that i suck so badly in maths. I've forgotten everything about Probability, Permutation blah blah. Shit man. I felt sooo dumb. Everybody was like busy doing the questions, and i was like stoning. And it doesn't help that i'm the only student from School Of Design there. Think i'm the only one who have not touch Maths for one whole year luh. The last time i used a calculator was to calculate the total cost for my art materials. Damn. I'm so ready to flunk my GEMS test next Wednesday.

And i'm so screwed for DS assignment that is due next week. Rah!

Where are you?

Perhaps it's better off gone? Sigh.

hustle and bustle

Just before our reunion dinner at my gram's at Queenstown, i had a mini sisters reunion lunch with my sisters (duh) at Bakerzin. Good food, and a few good laughs were all we need. Headed down to gram's after that.

Dint know my lousy digital cam can take sure nice photos.
And of course, we had their warm chocolate cake, which was DA BOMB. Overflowing chocolate with vanilla ice cream with raspberries and blue berries. Mmm..

So the Lunar New Year is finally here. Frantic day i had today. Slept only at 3am, and have to wake up at 6am as we are meeting my closer relatives at Guang Ming Shan to pay respects to my granpa. And as usual, our yearly affair, we went to Casuarina Prata for breakfast. Oh..when we were at Guang Ming Shan, the weather was so cold and windy that it really feels like Hong Kong.

Casurina Prata

Hahaha. While my dad was looking for a parking lot to park the car, we saw this monkey squatting at the edge of the bin. My dad then opened his window and simply just pushed the monkey down with his finger. Hahaha. Evil~

Hurried back home to start preparing lunch for a huge group of people. Since my gram came to my house, our house was like the headquarters for all my distant relatives that we only see once a year, as my gram's house was far too small to contain all those people. Entertaining those people were hell. Imagine the living room filled with 20 over people, and with kids. Argh, could hardly breathe. So me and my sisters were stuck in the kitchen, busy making and frying lunch for them. Exhausted. Worked non stop from 10 till 3pm, when the crowd finally died down. That was the time when my closer relatives came, which wasnt that bad since we see them every weekend. Mahjong-ed with my cousins and managed to win 6 bucks too. Haha, and i'm suppose to be an amateur. Too bad my skin wasnt thick enough to ask for money, since it's my cousin's gf that owes me, and i hardly talk to her. ):

Camwhoring with my sisters in the car. Mostly with my second sis

Went to my aunt's houseat yishun at night, and as usual, took photos with the kitty (:

Wondering how much ang bao i've collected. Not much i guess.

Even though it was by accident, i was still disappointed. Expected at least a reply.

re-connecting with reality

Sigh. I guess the only time i could get my mind off those thoughts, is when i'm physically stressed out. Yesterday's squash training was exhausting, but fruitful, both mentally and physically.

But it all comes crushing back down when i'm alone with my annoying wandering mind. Especially when that particular song kept appearing out of nowhere. Or when a certain thing that reminds me of. Sigh. Don't be mistaken, i'm not undergoing a state of depression. Everybody will have to go through a tough time once in awhile. Unfortunately, this tough stage of mine is really draining all my energy.

Chinese New Year is just a day away, but i have yet to feel the excitement i used to feel. May be i have too many thoughts running from corners to corners in the box up in my head. I can't really get loose and enjoy myself. In addition, there are tons of assignments to be completed.

It's hard. But there's nothing i can do, except picking myself up and face it.

When will everything fall back into place?

I have been sighing quite a lot lately.

Are you going to finish strong?

A touching and very motivating video that a friend showed me.

I will get back up.

Crushed

Crushed, mashed, and being trampled on.
I'm destroyed, completely.

Yes i'm indecisive. But is it such a big problem? Almost everyone has it.

There's even a book to teach you how to overcome it. But it's in my character, and it will be hard to change. It takes time, but i will. Since i'm hurting so badly if i don't. And i can't even talk to anyone about it, since i break down even if i think about it. It stinks.


Suddenly, i'm applying DT1's notes in all aspects of my life. Indecisiveness, self confidence etc.
Shudders.

i hear echos. do you?

E m p t y.

Yeah, that's how it feels.

I wonder why is it so easy for you.

reframing

Came across this while i was doing my DT1 assignment. Good thing Mr Lau got it for us. Found it rather useful.

Change The Way You Talk To Yourself

We all have inner voice in our heads. Sometimes it gives good advice, but more often it drags us down, knocking our confidence and self-esteem. But here is the GOOD news..

Confident people have learned to use their internal voice to boost their positive emotions. They become their own greatest fans by paying themselves compliments coupled with daily pep talks.

So HOW do YOU do this?
- Think of phrases you enjoy hearing.
- Write them down and repeat them to yourself.
- Whenever you need a boost, repeat them, and see the effect they have on your mood.

Life is great and i play a positive part in it.

I feel good about myself.

I deserve to be happy.

I will enjoy this day as it unfolds.

___________________

How to Put the Past Behind You

Do you find that you can't stop yourself from going over the low points of the day? Even though you know that dwelling on minor irritations and arguments spoils your mood. It's not easy to stop doing it. These memories often linger as depressing visual images, hanging over us like rain clouds.

You can put these bad thoughts behind you. By changing the way your brain stores these images, you will change the way you feel about the experience. Bring up the memory of this event then notice what happens when you:

- Move the image further away

-Make it smaller

- Turn it black and white

- Place yourself in the memory rather than simply seeing it through your own eyes.

These changes in perception distance you from the experience so that you can move on or forget about it altogether.

Finally, i found DT1 useful, and it came at the right time.

I hate you for this.

I really do.

I saw it coming..

Having many common interests is a bad thing too.

What's the use of apologising?

It doesn't change anything.

The man that can't be moved?

Thanks for the memories.

I really hate times like this.

hairy thoughts

Spent my saturday out with reen. Heh. Guess the last time i saw her was during the SC marathon last year? Probably almost 2 months ago. Yeah. So we did a little shopping here and there, and also to grab some materials for my assignments. Great day out with her (:

Ohyaa. And we realised we both did something to our hair on the same day without knowing. Hahaha. Truly girlfriends eh.

And i want my hair to grow grow Grow!

not any time soon

I guess the next time i get to see you will be like 10398102 days later.

And the next time i get to hear your voice, yeah, prolly about there too.

Shall just bury myself under my school work to keep my mind occupied.

But sometimes, getting my mind filled with work isn't that good either.

Sometimes, i get demoralised instead, after putting in so much hard work and time, and the results aren't showing.

This feeling is horrendously terrible.

But that kept my kind preoccupied.

So it that good or bad?

I'm not sure either.

I need some cheerios doses.

Extra large, please.

not my day

I think i seriously need to get a hard disk soon. Thanks to the 1.28GB of memory space left in my laptop, i had to delete some songs in my D drive to clear some space to do my photo assignments. Later did i realised that clearing my D drive is equivalent to deleting my songs permanently. I thought i can still use them in C drive. Damn. And also thanks to the limited memory space, my Photoshop cant even load. Second damn.

And one more terrible thing, some silly bird shit on me. Hit me like a bullet on my leg, and it hurts. Stupid bird. Third damn.

I need a hard disk!! And a new mp3 player, since my Sony Ericsson's earphones are practically dead. And i do not want to get a new SE earphones, cause i don't intend to support SE anymore. It's bad!

Mann. I need cold hard cash soon. Like maybe now? ):

time monster

Volunteered my services at JAE Counselling with ariel today. Stood there for like 4 hours, till we were released 15 mins earlier since nobody came. Haha. Practically nobody, since its the first day of the release of O Level results. Spent my time there crapping instead.

Finally went for a run after for so long. My first run in 2009. Haha. And i realised my stamina has deproved. I died after running 6 rounds around lane 8, and my legs are starting to ache already. Oh my. Better catch up with stamina, otherwise my squashing will suffer too.

One more thing to blabber about. So many assignments, so little time.

VDS Assignment 4 Photography 500 shots- 15th jan

DT1 Assignment 3 Comic- 23rd jan?? TBC
DT1 Assignment 4 & 5- 30th jan

VDS Assignment 6 Crowbar Awards- 5th feb

DS Assignment 4 Crowbar Awards- 6th feb

HCD Assignment 5 Interactive Infographics- TBC

HCD Assignment 6 Usability Testing- TBC

Hopefully i can complete everything by then. Can i?

Left with 6 more weeks of school to the end of my Year 1. Push push push!

I just realised i have 6 new baby guppies instead of just one. Maybe i should name them Nemo, Nema, Nepo, Neme, Neki....Ha, since their mother died.

And another guppy got pregnant again. Its stomach looks as though its going to explode anytime soon. It looks like its in pain. Ouch!

yahoooo!

Students in School of Design are like like owls. They work at night, and sleep in the day. That has been my lifestyle for the past few weeks. Only had about 2 to 3 hours of sleep each night for about a week.

And i'm glad to say that my Typography assignment is finally O-V-E-R!. Yeah, over! Woohoo! So we were suppose to create a brand new typeface, and also a poster with the typeface we created. Spent weeks on it, painstakingly created ever alphabet with my little finger being pressed into the wire mesh. ><

And finally, the sense of satisfaction is coming back again. I lost it during my last 2 assignments; DS painting and IDS Flash. Now, i am back on track, and hopefully, it stays. ><

I can't wait! (:

oh poor guppy

One of my poor guppies died while giving birth.

How sad is that. What's left is one tiny baby of hers.

Reminds me of Nemo though. Ha.

I'm tired, but i cant rest. Thanks to typography assignment.

Boo you.

sad clown

Hopefully, a fresh coat of hot pink and black nail polish will cheer me up.

And it's starting to work, a little by little.

Somehow, i'm looking forward to school. Cause there are friends there that make me laugh, and that keeps my problems at bay. But that also means deadlines are drawing near. Boy oh boy..

I'm tired of chasing.

Shall just squirm back to my comfort zone.

am i better of without?

Disappointed over and over and over and over again.

As usual, you never fail to make me tear at the end of everyday.

I have more than enough in my hands to stress and worry about.

Thanks for not understanding.

I hate all of this.

I'm tired of all of this.

Happy New 2009

Good bye 2008! Hello to 2009!

Somehow, 2008 seemed to pass by so quickly. Probably due to the hectic schedule in poly. Just about 7 more weeks of school and i would have completed my first year. Phew~

Met up with some of S12 peeps. Have been ages ages ages since i last saw them! The last time when we really met up and went out was on this very same day, but one year ago, and doing the same thing, counting down to next year together. We should make it a yearly affair eh? Just hope that the awkward silence wouldn't come and haunt us.So i met up with Sheila and Jess first. And glad to say, there wasn't a teenie weenie bit of awkwardness. Cause it was still the same endless laughter and crapping. Yay! :D

And fortunately, we managed to meet up with the rest, like only 15mins before 12am. Everywhere was so jammed packed and blocked due to the crowd, that it was so hard for them to find us. Haha. Ohh..and i recorded a video with my digital camera. Fab fireworks, nicer than last year's. And like last year, we got a good spot. The fireworks were huuuge!

My New Year Resolution:

Stop slouching and be more confident of myself!!
:D